As most of you know, this Sunday the 29th I am getting married. Alicia and I have been together for a very long time and in some ways it feels like just giving a title to what has existed for 7 years. In other ways, however, it feels like a step in a new direction and feels nothing like just another day.
I mean, I have several friends that are married and they haven't been replaced with alien shape-shifters or anything (that I can see, anyways). It's still weird, though.
I've seen a lot of stuff in these 26 years. Great bands, great music, sad times, fun times, okay times, my expulsion from school, beginning my college career... 5 cars and trucks, two residences, Bobby Bland, a million guitars, a million shows, awesome girlfriends, crazy girlfriends, Portishead self-titled, hundreds of records, hundreds of books.... losing my grandmother, losing Nick...
When I look back, I've experienced so many of these things (minus the ex-girlfriends, lol) with Alicia by my side. The span of our relationship is truly massive. When I met her I was still playing Sound Idea every Sunday. We started dating just as she left High School. She's almost done with her Masters. Insane.
We both have accomplished so much in this time. She earned her BA and worked for a year as a legal assistant before heading back to school for her MFA. She wrote an excellent novel and sold it. I closed my Dad's business, started my own, sold that one and went back to school for Audio Engineering. We bought a new truck and moved out together. All in all, a lot of water under the bridge.
I could go on about all of our stuff but I won't. This reason I am writing this is to work out how I feel about getting married, but I've found I don't really need to. The wisest thing ever said to me about marriage came from my friend Eric. I was telling him that when you really think about it getting married is a really intense experience, and if you over-think it you can get really freaked out. He just told me that whenever he sees a ring on someones finger he always thinks what an honor it is to have someone decide that they want to spend the rest of their life with you; that they feel they could be with you forever, no doubt about it. I guess that's the best way to look at it. You're not losing yourself, you're gaining another. Whether 'another' means a symbiotic life form that replaces your mind with it's own? That's for another day...
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